beautiful lies

terror of the day

Woke up late. FedEx guy with an awesome voice came to deliver our AT&T phones. We ordered them yesterday. For free. All three. The cost per month for three will be less than two prepaid phones by Virgin are right now, so. Awesome. I haven’t had a phone since I dropped mine in a toilet in May.

In other news. My suicidal penpal whom I cut ties with has contacted me via lookbook. I don’t have to open it. I don’t think I will. Goddamn.

Also. J wrote back to that post I made two nights ago, ‘may get to know me better’ blah blah. I am so terrified of opening it. What the hell is wrong with me, eh? He wrote a blanket email too about how he’s done his study abroad now and his parents have come over so they can travel until school starts up Jan 11. My fear of Latin is growing every day. I’m tempted to take Chaucer with Sylvia, so I can be an English major.

I don’t know what my issue is.

I got a bluetooth set with my phone. It’s very odd. So tiny. Fascinating, though I can’t imagine being a college student using one. I don’t drive (i.e. I don’t have my license even though I’m almost 21), so it won’t be useful there, either. Gave my mum the phone charger.

None of this is particularly important. It’s just me avoiding opening that email.

Also. Tumblr, since late last night, has been in a weird setting for me. You know when facebook loads weird and it’s all squashed along one side and pictures don’t show up right? Yeah, that. Blergh.

is tumblr being a bitch to anyone else? it's all in like prototype form

I don’t love anyone
You’re not listening, even now

I'm in this state of almost constant happiness

I’ve been editing my book, the place, the people, that make me happier than anything in the world.

I know that’s probably wrong. But I’ve had this for almost ten years now, and it’s everything to me. Everything I am.

R.I.P. Dylan Bays.

infinitebutterflies: malfoyy:

Today was one of those days that our class knows too well at my school. One of those days where the halls are quiet and hugs with friends last longer than they normally do.

Two moments got to me today. The first being when I was sitting with my academic team coach in his classroom. He doesn’t have a class that period, and I help him with things. He had Dylan in one of his government classes. I turned to ask him something only to see him crying. Our 6ft ex-marine fearless academic team coach crying broke me a bit.

The second was my AP Stat class. Dylan sat in front of me. Our counselor and vice principal spoke to the class. After they left our teacher started to cry. Our jovial Albert Einstein look-a-like AP Stat teacher just not knowing what to say, staring at the empty desk. After 20 minutes of silence, he tried to teach the lesson. He finished a problem and told us that the theory that the problem was based on was discovered by a man named Rev. Thomas Bayes. We all cried. Our principal came in, and we sat in more silence.

I don’t think we can take this anymore, but one day at a time, we’re starting to go through the hurt and the healing process again…

A girl I’d rowed with hundreds of times died two years out of high school. Everyone spent the day in silence. Not even tears. Just silence. I’d not seen her since she graduated. She was a good girl. A really, really good girl.

List of Demons:

fairphantom:

undeadaffairs:

• Acham - the demon of Thursday.

• Alrinach - demon of shipwrecks.

• Alocer - demon in astrology.

• Any - the presiding demon of Hell.

• Anamalech - the demon of bad news.

• Andras - the demon of discord.

• Aquiel - the demon of Sunday.

• Arachula - evil spirit in the air.

• Ardad - demon that leads travelers astray.

• Ascaroth - demon of spies and informers.

• Asmodeus - mentioned in the Book of Tobias; Asmodeus (aka Abaddon) is “The Destroyer.”

• Astaroth - one of the Chief Devils, sometimes spelled as Ashtaroth.  Astarte is its female.

• Baal - one of the Great Demons.  Also given as Baalim.

• Bechard - the demon of tempests.

• Bechet - the demon of Friday.

• Behemoth - the demon of animal strength.

• Belial - demon of the Sidonians.

• Beelzebub - one of the Princes of Hell.  Also given as Beelzeboul.

• Belphegor.

• Braathwaate - demon of Ignorance.

• Bucon - the demon of Hatred.

• Byleth - one of the Kings of Hell.

• Cheitan - demon born of Smoke.

• Chemos.

• Lanithro - demon of the air.

• Legassa - demon of Hypocrisy.

• Leviathan.

• Lucifer - “Light-bearer.”

• Mammon.

• Mastiphal - one of the Princes of Darkness.

• Moloch.

• Saalah - demon that entices into the woods.

• Satan.

• Tenebrion - Spirit of Darkness.

• Verdelet - demon who carries witches to Sabbath.

there is a tiny, minscule possibility that my dad's father will co-sign a credit card for me

Because I need a new laptop. While I understand that I could work in one of the two computer labs at college, a. I could not access personal things there (facebook, tumblr) and b. one is in the (very loud) library, and the other in the math building, which closes at 5 and is not open on the weekends.

It costs $62,500 to go to my school for a year, so I guess they assume everyone can afford the accessories they need to function as modern students.

I’m on full financial aid, but cannot get any for books or other supplies. I already won’t be able to pay for my books this semester, and will have to borrow them from other libraries, or use the ones our library keep on hold for one-hour-at-a-time use.

Good stuff, college is. Good stuff.

I'm currently writing in a chapter that was never there before

because people wanted to get to know the boys better. It’s not exactly hard as I am using one previously cut scene and one that was originally in book two but literally cannot be now. Still. A chapter is a longish sort of thing. I was tripping along so merrily just changing a few things here and there all through the prologue and the first chapter.

I wish they sold individual cigarettes

fairphantom:

Even when I did smoke more regularly, I would often be on the same pack for two weeks - to the point where they got stale. I really want a cigarette now (as happens at particularly stressful or emotional times) but if I buy a pack I will want to smoke them before they go stale or it is a waste of money.

Man I miss England where I could get the smaller packs.

Totally right with you. I never smoked regularly, however, and only have for photoshoots and a few times with friends. But it would be nice, just one every now and then. My best friend buys loose tobacco and rolls her own, so she can get as much or as little as she wants (she only smokes a few times a week). That might be a solution?

aislinginwonderland:

in english last week we had to write an essay ‘a significant event that changed my life.’ i didn’t write about batteling an eating disorder.when i got my essay back my teacher said i should have written about my eating disorder and although my essay was “very good” she gave me a C. i was ment to be rewriting the essay all during the class but instead i drew at the back of my copy.then the bell went and i realised i hadn’t written anything so i just put down one sentence. it said “one day i just stopped eating.” she gave it back to me before i went home. i got an A* :o what??

this is really bizarre and slightly disturbing. what you write about should not determine your grade, but how well you write it … and since it was your choice, a teacher should never suggest you had written about something else!